Making a difference

WINTER HANGOUT 2009

2009-02-09T06:56:00.000-08:00

camp goup photo

From the 5th to 7th of Feb, a group of 57 medical students from the MF and JE including myself went for a winter hangout in an American 'Dacha' where we spend 3 days 2 nights in God's presence learning to be the 'CHOSEN GENERATION'. This winter hangout was organized by a group of M2 students who were willing to step up for God.

Before going for the camp, all i expected was just to have some fun and to enjoy the fellowship with other brother and sister in Christ from MF as this was my last semester. But few days before the camp, i was asked by the worship coordinator to worship lead in a worship session on the 2nd day. i was actually really excited to be given the chance to worship lead and was like preparing the songs and all but somehow one day before the camp after i went to M2 to practice with the other musicians, don't know why i somehow felt very useless as a worship leader as i found myself not doing what i need to do as a worship leader.

But then that night when i was back in my hostel, i began to pray and ask God for directions, He began to show me what it means about worship. Worship is not about the songs we sing, or how the music should be played but it's about my heart. i actually heard God asking me whether was my heart too bother about how the worship session should be or was my heart actually about enjoying Him and bring people to His presence. And thus i told God that i want to enjoy His presence no matter what.

So throughout the camp, i began to open my heart and experience God in many different ways and God began to reveal to me more about enjoying His presence and not to worry so much but let Him take over. A friend from JE, Volgo actually encouraged me on not letting things get in between me worshipping and leading people into God's presence.

The worship team of winter hangout. They all ROCK!!!

And thus during the session when i worship lead, even though there were many changes here and there but i began to let go and let God come in to take over the whole session. And together with another worship leader (Andrew and Kelvin), a great bunch of musicians (wei soon, wee kee, Ailin, Billy, Marcus, Isaac) and a great team of backup singers (Jassie, May Shi, Alyssa, Joo Ann, Kenix, Pauline), we enjoyed God's presence together (singing, dancing, jumping etc) and also managed to bring other's into God's presence worshipping Him like never before. At that time i learned that when i am faithful with the little gift God had given to me and let Him take over, more things will be added to my life. God has given each of us gifts, it is just whether are we willing to use it for His glory.

My tribe Manasseh, we're so cool

Throughout this camp, i also learned about having a servant heart. To be a leader or to be great, we must 1st learn to serve. Serve God and serve people. I may not be very good in this area but i am actually learning to love people for who they are and slow to judge. Many may think that this is so impossible or idealistic but i believe it is possible not by our own strength but by God's strength and power. I also got to know many people whom i had seen but not know them personally and i really enjoyed the fellowship i had with all of them. I'll definitely miss all of them when i graduate but i believe that the friendship that i had with all of them will not be limited by distance and time.

frenz....

roommates

So i would really like to challenge those who God has given u the gifts, but were not using it for some reason or another to put aside all circumstances and let God use u. And things will definitely be different as a servant's heart is a heart whom God seeks, and also to treasure the people around you and love them for who they are.

Trip To Murmansk

2009-02-02T03:50:00.000-08:00

A week ago, 9 other girls and myself set out for a journey to Murmansk, a town in Russia situated above the arctic circle. we went there by train and it took us 39 hours train ride to reach our destination. train cabin

Murmansk is a small and cozy town, where people there are nice and friendly, i actually realized not all Russians are cold towards people, there is actually another friendly and warm side of them. the weather there on the other hand is quite unbearable, very cold bout -ve 20.
the main road in murmansk

throughout the 4 days there, we visited 2 museums, we went up the hill with Murmansk famous statue of aloshae, we went up the hill also because we hope to see the Northern Lights. But as the light activity was not strong and was quite different from what we expected.

museum in Murmansk

The northern lights taken by the local people which we expected to see

the low activity light that we manage to see (not very clear)photo with a caretaker of a ship museum who was once in the field of ship and sails

Well the food there is delicious with reasonable prices, definitely cheaper than Moscow with the ammount of food we've been eating (Japanese, Italian, and Chinese food is available too)

Overall it's a great trip with great experiences.

Lost and Found

2009-01-22T10:54:00.001-08:00

On the 19th of January, I travelled to the hospital for my Therapy exam. I thank God I did quiet well in the exam and was very happy with the results. However, upon returning home, I realized I had lost my wallet while I was in the hospital! So I quickly returned to the hospital to look for it. I asked the security guards around and my friends but my wallet was no where to be seen. I prayed that time, but nothing seemed to change.

I returned home depressed and worried as my walled contained my Insurance Card, ATM Cards, Student Card, etc. I was quite worried that someone might withdraw my money using my ATM cards, as I’ve saved money for the Summer mission trip and to buy a PDA phone for my future work in hospital. So I quickly called my parents to block the card. But the whole day I just could not get over the fact that my wallet was lost. This was my last semester here in Moscow and it was going to a big hassle to get all the documents again.

That night, I attended our daily Malaysian Fellowship prayer meeting at my hostel (Spartivnaya Hostel). Before I led the prayer meeting, I shared with the group about how God was faithful to bring me through my exam but I also shared the bad news on how my wallet was lost. I thank God for the fellowship guys who encouraged me to pray together and ask God to help me get back my wallet. As first I was skeptical, as this seemed quiet impossible, especially in Russia, plus how was I supposed to pray over spilled milk. That was what i taught. But the Holy Spirit tugged my heart and so we believed and prayed for a miracle.

The next day at about 4 in the evening, I received a phone call from the deans office informing me that someone working in the hospital had found my walled and wanted to return it to me! I rushed to the hospital and collected my wallet and everything was intact, nothing was lost. I was lost for words and in great awe and joy filled my heart.
God had answered my prayer.

Friends, I just want to encourage you to never underestimate the power of prayer. At times we may feel faithless, but God is always faithfull! When we seek Him, we’ll definitely find Him. I want to give God all the Glory, Honour and Praise. Thank you Jesus!

WHITE CHRISTMAS

2008-12-27T03:11:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday on the 21st December, the my university student association (SMSA) cultural and welfare department organized an event, Christmas Charity Ball, aka White Christmas. Christmas Charity Ball '08 is a charity fundraiser held in Moscow, in aid of Children's Hope International, Russia Program (where we bless these orphans). I was appointed as the Head of Food and beverage department as it was a great experience to be able to serve the children with my whole FNB crew and the usher team who helped out as waiter and waitress to serve those who attend and the children. Here are some pictures:

The hall in Raddison Hotel, Moscow, banquet table style (grand right?)

Giving gift packs and serving the VIPs by VIP ushers

Opening ceremony by ailin (keyboard), alex, chew and kai yan (violin)

Performance by a russian magician (he's quite good actually)

Performance by dance troop

Me and Wee Gee (she help me a lot with the FNB stuff)

The people that help makes this event a success

Adeline and I

Me and the Usher team (all pretty girls)

People who help make the food a success

One of the desserts that i find it pretty

Other desserts and cakes

TUBERCULOSIS CYCLE

2008-11-05T04:31:00.000-08:00

For the past 2 weeks, i was having tuberculosis class everyday from 9am to 2pm. For more than 2 weeks, from Monday to Friday 5 hours daily, I'm learning about TB, can't u imagine how much i learn about TB. We learned bout different type of primary, secondary pulmonary TB, Extrapulmonary TB, see bout 10 different Xrays a day, Do MCQ and cases almost everyday.TB as many know is transmitted through respiratory droplets from infected person when they cough, sneeze or even talk. When a healthy person inhaled these infected droplets, the mycobacteria will enter their lungs and multiply. At this stage the person is known to be 'Infected' where the mycobacteria is in the body but is keep under control by our body's immune system. (they are usually not infectious), and according to statistics many of us are supposed to be infected.

Only When our Immune system can't keep the bacili under control and when the bacili begin to multiply rapidly thus tuberculous disease develope when the patients show clonical pictures of chronic cough with or without sputum, positive tuberculin test, positive sputum culture of mycobacteria, and changes of lung X rays pictures. These patients are consider infectious and they can spread this disease to people around them.

But not many know that not everyone who is exposed to an infectious TB patient becomes infected. Why? Probability that TB will be transmitted depends on

How contagious is the patient you are exposed to
In what kind of environment did the exposure occur
How long did the exposure last

So, If u really want to know whether are you being infected by Mycobacteria, u can go to any clinics or hospital and do a tuberculin skin test, and being check further by the doctors in the clinic or hospital. But don't worry, this disease is now very treatable especially if you are young with a strong immunity.

One thing I found out was, in Russian, The classification of Tuberculosis according to clinical forms are so different from other countries. It's so much more detail and elaborate compare to most popular text books for medical studies. So much to know and sometimes it's so confusing as they may have the same clinical pictures but different X rays pictures. I wanted to write the types of TB etc on this post but then i found out that if i were to write even a summary, it will still be a long essay, so......hehe better don't write, if not will bored all those that read this.

Anyway, this Friday i'm gonna have my end of cycle exam for this subject, kinda worried in that sense that i hope i don confused certain types of TB as i had mention they are quite confusing. But i'm gonna do my best to prepare well and answer. Even thought this process is not easy but i still Thank God for the opportunity to study this subject so detail and i really learn to read a lot of pulmonary X rays and CT's to differentiate different type of lung diseases based of X rays pictures.

Well i hope those who read this will get a little picture on what TB is all about, and feel free to ask me if there's any question. I may not know all the answer (That's for sure), but i can't give certain explanation which u may want to know bout this disease.

combine cell group meeting in Spartive hotspot

2008-10-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

Last Sat, in my Hostel Fellowship (Spartiv Hotspot), We had a combine Cell group meeting people from all 3 cell groups, and some from other hostel came and join us to experience God's presence.

We Started off with a game session conducted by Ailin and Amanda where we need to do group acting to act out the given themes. It was really funny to seen everyone open themselves up to do things they don't normally do.

After that we had a worship session lead by Geng Yan (Worship leader), Chye Li (guitarist) and Joshua (backup singer). God's presence was so strong in that place and we know that it'll be a great and powerful time meeting with God.

Then, Magithra and Thjen Jhong came up and share their testimony on how they had experienced God working in their life and keeping them safe.

Then Came the most important part, God's word where Herman shared about 'EXCELLENCE AS PART OF OUR FATHER'S BUSINESS' where he talk about we being a family and God is our Father and He is also our King and we serving Him.

God's business is to bring people into His family and to build us up to be better people, mature believers who live our lives for Him. And this can be done by being the light where we shine which means to STAND OUT. And as sudent, one of the ways to shine is to excell in our studies. Here are some points that was being shared:

1. Maintain God's standard

a)Cheating is a sin, To score in exam by any means beside studying hard and smart for it is cheating. We study not just for our exam but to have the knowledge on what we are learning and to be good doctors or whatever profession.

b)Titus2:6-8 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

2. Time management and discipline

3. Priorities and distractions

a)We need to know what distratcs us and cut it off (It can be drama, games etc, whatever that distract u from studying).

4. To give our best

a) As believers, we must always give our best.

b) Collosians3: 23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

c) There is no short cut to success, you can never escape hardwork. (Maybe u can escape now, but it'll definitely affect what you do in future.

After the word, we celebrated birthdays of September and October Babies. And i made a mocha cake (Thank God it turn out ok, as baking is really not my area). But the whole meeting was Great and it is really an enjoyable time to fellowship with people from other cell groups and hostel as we really want to built a strong family that do life together.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER

2008-09-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

As i am having holiday these few days, i was listening to a series of audio sermon Choosing the right partner by Pastor Kong Hee. He was a dynamic speaker and some of his points on not choosing the wrong partner in life really struck me, so i decided to post it:

God does not choose our mate for us, He may have certain people in His mind for us, but ultimately we are the one who make the decision and choose the partner.

A) 8 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP THAT WON'T WORK

You care more about your partner more than he does about you for a very long period of time. (meaning u keep on call him, message him etc but he does not really care to reply u, so that mean one thing he is defnitely not interested in you).
You are in love with your partner's potential (You only love him for who you dream he may become in the future and not who he is right now).
You are in a rescue mission. (Where u always feel that he or she can't live without me, soon enough u'll too tired of being a babysitter).
You look up to your partner as a role model (in a way that he or she is the god of your life and where u'll find yourself loosing your identity).
You are in love with your partner only for the external reason.
You and your partner are really trench or team buddy (short term love spark where u have over a short period of time working together).
You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
Your partner is unavailable (where he or she is in another relationship or worse married)

B) 8 FATAL FLAWS TO WATCH OUT IN A PARTNER

Anger (where he or she just burst on you for no reason or for small reasons)
Control freak (i don think you need much of explanation)
victim consciousness (where they can blame everybody except themselves for everything bad that is happening in their life).
Sexual immorality ( It can either be sexual addiction or lack of sexual integrity).
Your partner has not grow up (and you feel like you're going out with a kid than with your partner). (THAT'S AWFUL!!!)
Emotional unavailable (where your partner is cold towards you and cannot share his or her feeling with you like a cold icy wall)
Those that have not recover from past relationship. (and this really hurts)
Emotionally damage from childhood (and that causes them either do not know how to love you or being obsess with being love by you).

C) 5 TIME BOMBS THAT MAY DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP

Significant age difference where like more than 10 years (man!!! this can easily cause generation gap).
Different spiritual conviction (when you are either not of the same faith or u guys just don have things between to click with each other).
Different social ethnic and social background (well it can only work out if both partner are really committed to work the relationship out and of course with God's help).
Overbearing In-laws.
Long distance relationship (especially if there is no trust and commitment).

D) 7 QUALITIES ONE SHOULD LOOK FOR IN A LIFE PARTNER

Commitment to personal growth (spiritually and mentally)
Emotional openness.
Integrity
Maturity and responsibility
Healthy self esteem
Positive attitude towards life
personal chemistry (you can find all the above 6 in a person, but it's useless if there's no chemistry there).

Well this may seem kinda complicated but it's actually really real in our life (doesn't matter whether you are single, you're attached or married, it'll still be able to help you to built better relationship with your partner).

Personal note: loving someone or finding the right one and building up the relationship is really not easy, It really takes trust, commitment, patience, and most importantly God's love to make it work.

It's been a week

2008-09-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been more than a week since i am back here to Moscow for my final year. This month my cycle is kinda relaxing, so i am still in my holiday mood while settling all my documents (big big hassle). Well my greatest joy coming back here was meeting all my friends whom i miss a lot throughout the holiday especially people from my group, my room and from the Malaysian Fellowship.

It was great to meet with up the spartiv hotspot people last Saturday sharing testimony on the Medan mission trip and hearing testimony about the China mission trip, meeting new believers, worshiping God, listen to Herman talk about the vision ahead and having fellowship with each other. i really miss being around with this FAMILY.

It's gonna be my last year here, i really do not know how will God leads me next time for my future, but one thing I am sure, before i leave i really want to give my best to people around me here to make an impact for God in their lives in whatever ways i could, i may not be able to to do a lot, but one thing i am sure 'I AM AN INSTRUMENT FOR THE LORD ALMIGHTY'. Thus i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. That's why i like this song 'HATI HAMBA' as i really want to have a servant's heart to say :" yes Lord, here I am". Hope u r bless with this song.

KU TAK DAPAT LUPAKAN
(I can't never forget)

KEBAIKAN YANG KU T'RIMA
(The goodness that I've received)

PENGORBANAN-MU YANG MULIA
(Your holy sacrifice)

JADIKAN KU BERHARGA
(Has made me worthy)

KAU TULUS MENERIMA
(You've willingly accepted)

AKU APA ADANYA
(Me just as I am)

KEKUATAN KASIH-MU NYATA
(The power of Your love is real)

MEMULIHKAN HIDUPKU
(It has restored my life)

KAU BUKAN TUHAN YANG MELIHAT RUPA
(You are not a God who looks at appearance)

KAU BUKAN TUHAN YANG MEMANDANG HARTA
(You are not a God who looks at wealth)

HATI HAMBA YANG S'LALU KAU CARI
(A servant's heart is what You are always looking for)

BIAR KAU TEMUKAN DI DALAMKU
(Let it be found in me)

S'LAMA KU HIDUP KU MAU MENYEMBAH-MU
(All the days of my life, I will worship You)

S'BAB ENGKAU SANGAT BERARTI BAGIKU
('Cause You mean so much to me)

YANG TERBAIK YANG ADA PADAKU
(All the best that I have)

KUPERSEMBAHKAN KEPADA-MU
(I will give it to You)

YESUSKU
(My Jesus)

MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL

A NEW SONG: KAULAH HARAPAN KU

2008-08-27T02:01:00.000-07:00

When i went to Medan Indonesia for mission trip, i had the chance to learn a lot of new bahasa christian songs and the song that i like most and touches me most (also like best by the girls in the team) is this song Kaulah harapanku aka ku pandang wajahMu.

BUKAN DENGAN KEKUATANKU

KU DAPAT JALANI HIDUP INI

TANPA TUHAN YANG DI SAMPINGKU

KU TAK MAMPU SENDIRI

ENGKAULAH KUATKU

YANG MENOPANGKU

KU PANDANG WAJAHMU DAN BERSERU

PERTOLONGANKU DATANG DARIMU

PEGANGLAH TANGANKU JANGAN LEPASKAN

KAULAH HARAPAN DALAM HIDUPKU

This song is really meaningful is the way it express how much we need God in our (my) life, He is the source of my strength to go thru things happening in life. Bad things, problems may come in the way but we just have to look unto Him and call upon Him, He is there to give us the strength as He is the hope of our life. I hope u guys will like this song. if u want to hear this song

http://www.imeem.com/people/I46t95/music/y7Wa6JWR/sari_simorangkir_kaulah_harapan/

hope u guys will enjoy it

LEADERSHIP MEETING WITH CHC KL

2008-08-17T05:41:00.000-07:00

2 Days ago on Friday and Saturday, the Malaysian Fellowship crew (mostly leaders) including myself we attended a leadership meeting/ seminar held by City Harvest KL. It was really a great experience to know God better, learn to be God's child 1st and then doctor, to lead cell group, to be a worship leader and most important to built God's kingdom.

what really touches me the most in these 2 days seminar is how to lead a cell group and the qualities needed in a cell group leader, as this session really speaks to me a lot and really get me thinking.

These are the principles i learned of being a good spiritual leader for God

biblical profile of a leader

Good reputation where a leader must not only be good in serving God but also must be a powerful and living testimony in wherever they are be it in school, uni, or workplace (anywhere).
Full of the Holy spirit. As spiritual leaders we must be dependent on the Holy Spirit to guide and lead us to go the place He want us to go.
Full of Wisdom. Wisdom is a gift of God, it is actually the knowledge that is properly applied and it is the ability to discern all matter from the spiritual point of view.
Full of Faith. We must have a visible faith in God to bring people to trust and have confidence in Him. we must fear God and love the truth.

2. Leader must love God and people

In Mark 12:13 we have to love God passionately and we must love to serve others as love for people can work a lot of things.
So if we love people, we will wanna see growth and that people are being saved. And that is our Great commission.

3. Freed up lifestyle

as leaders we must know how o manage our time well, do not because of exam or work or any petty stuff and then wanna cancel cell group or cancel fellowship.
if we have time to watch series or go online or go mamak etc, we definitely will have time for God. God gives us all 24 hours a day it's whether u use it properly or u waste it.

4. A Great Attitude

Humility. As Jesus came not to be served but to serve.
Positive attitude. (even in times of trouble)
Enthusiasm. Faith makes a leader enthusiastic.
Willingness. willingness will release your ability to the job, it will gives u tremendous energy, it brings with it strategy for us to overcome things in life, it makes us teachable, and it brings us into the blessing of God.

5. Discipleship

to disciple people to change the world by teaching and equipping them to go to Jesus, to be with Jesus and to follow Jesus.
Discipleship take place when our value are challenged as our attitude are being fine tune and our character are develope.
If we are not discipled, we are not christian.

Well that's the main point to being a cell group leader. This actually teach me a lot. to learn to trust and surrender everything into God's hand. For me it's really hard to surrender completely to Him but i know that God is molding me day by day to be the person He wants me to be. He'll definitely mold and teach us as long as we open our hearts and surrender it all into His hands.

INDONESIA MISSION TRIP

2008-08-13T04:53:00.000-07:00

From 1st to 12th of August, myself and a team of 6 other girls went to Medan Indonesia for medical mission team where we not only go there to tell of God's love and His greatness but also to do medical outreach where we examined patient, prescribe medicine and even do injection (hehe), the whole team know nothing about preaching, medical outreach etc we just all go by FAITH, and Thank God all things went well by His grace. well there's too much to talk about the trip and it'll be a long list so i think i'll just show pic.

the mission team which consists of 7 girls

PRAYING FOR THOSE WHO GOT SAVED

CHILDREN CHURCH MINISTRY (AREN'T THEY CUTE)

THIS IS ME GIVING INTRAMUSCULAR INJECTION

THE GUY WITH US IS DOCTOR FEDERICK THE MISSION DOC HELPING US

IN ONE OF THE ADULT CELL GROUP2 OF MY NEW INDONESIAN FRIENDSPASTOR NUAH AND THE TEAM (HE'S A COOL PASTOR)

Well there are more than thousand pictures taken the past 12 days, these are the very few of the pictures taken. the memories i had in the mission is not replaceable.

For me personally, i experience God so real and powerful that i can't think or imagine (actually the whole group felt that way), we are all so inexperience in any of the work but when we let God use us, things actually happen where people got saved physically and spiritually).

I'll learned to give and i realized how bless i am in many ways and i will never trade this experience that i have there with any other things and i know it's too early to say this but i'm going back there next year coz there are more people that needs love and help there.

NEW ROOM FURNITURES

2008-07-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

Well it's been long since i wrote anything here, I'm back to Malaysia for almost 2 weeks and I'm currently still enjoying my holidays with family and friends that i had not seen for 'ages'. Well once i came back i went to buy my room furniture (a bigger cupboard, a big table and a book shelve), and yesterday my furniture was delivered to me and now finally i have place to keep all my heavy medical books which i brought back from Moscow, have a table to do stuff etc. Well i wanted to take a photo of my room's new look and post it up but i do not know where my parents keep the camera. But anyway i really do like my room, very warm and cozy. Well I'll be starting my training in the pharmacist soon, well maybe some will ask 'i thought u're suppose to be attached to the hospital'. Well to me i think what i really lack in my medical training is my pharmacology, i do not know why do i have such a big problem with it, so now i choose to overcome this problem by learning the drugs used in Malaysia for different disease in a pharmacist to be a better doctor God wants me to be.

GOING GOME FOR HOLIDAYS

2008-06-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day here in Moscow before going back to Malaysia for holidays (goodbye to 5th year) , well i'll be coming back here in September for my final year as a medical student before graduating and be a real doctor.

Thank God also for being with me through my finals, I'm actually kinda happy with my final results this year, really a blessing from God.

And well i actually can't wait to go home, it's been a year since i went back and i really misses my family and friends even though we do keep in contact through MSN. And definitely not forgetting Malaysian food.

Well i think the rest i'll write when i go back, anyway just can't wait to fly back 2molo. hooray!!!

Happy Father's day

2008-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

Today throughout the world people are celebrating Father's day. Beside my Father in heaven, i would also like to thank my dad for the things he had done in my life. My dad is one whom i respect a lot. Even though he's a man, but he helps out a lot in the house especially with going marketing with my mum and also cooking for my family (before i take over).

He's the one who told me who God is, and has always been my personal mentor with God's word and also with my school work, he teach me practically all the subjects especially mathematic and add maths which i'm really terrible in it.

Even though many times he always scold me for being careless and blur (which i really am) i know he does it for my own good, he wants me to be a responsible doctor and not make careless mistake and harm others (even though i don't think so, coz i only careless with my own stuff).

i remembered everytime when i want him to buy something for me, he always says no in the 1st place but deep down i know he has a soft spot which needs a little 'manja'. well no matter how old i may be i'm still my daddy's girl wat.

Well just wanna wish my dad Happy father's day, May God bless you and that to me, you're the best dad i could ever have and that i really love you.

LOOKING BACK

2008-06-13T02:05:00.000-07:00

Famous view in Moscow (taken in red square)

As I'm approaching the end of my 5th year here in Moscow Medical academy in Moscow Russia, somehow looking back for the 5 and half years I've been studying and staying here, there are bitter sweet memories.

Studying medicine here in Moscow was a big challenge in the beginning. When i 1st came here, i can't speak a word of Russian, the people here seems to be cold and everything seems to be hair wire, there weren't many Malaysians here that time and it was quite a tough time.

Things here are so expensive and eating out here really cost a lot. i remembered last time i do not dare to go to the market because i do not know russian and i do not know how to buy food, i always end up buying things i do not want. Sometimes the shopkeeper and I do not understand each other and that causes the shopkeeper to be frustrated and i remembered i got so much yelling from them. This is 'sloika' it's a bun with different kinda of stuffing in it. I used to eat it
almost everyday as it was one of the cheapest food or snack for lunch.

This is kotlet, it's actually meat with different stuffing (cheese,
spinach, mushroom sauce, sour cream etc.) weird but delicious one of my favourite.

This is one of the russian soup that i like 'borsh' it's healthy and yum yum

But somehow, as years goes by, things get better. I'm now attending a international church where there are many Russians that can speak english and i got to learn the language from them, as i begin to learn and speak their language, things got so much easier in communication, My lessons are mostly in English and the more i learned the more i found out that this country has a very deep base and history in medicine. And i actually find it interesting an did not regret coming here to study. This is a pic of my main university (dean office mainly) but my classes are usually
in other hospital which are located all around moscow.

Many Malaysia's doctor do comment that students studying in Russia are terrible, i do not know about other universities but in my uni, it's nothing like that. The lecturers do their best to teach us students what they know and many times it's us students ourselves who does not have the initiative to learn. Many times we complain that this lecturer does not teach well, i don understand what they are saying etc, But come on we're all Universities student, we ourselves should take the initiative to learn and read up on certain topics or disease and if we really don understand that's when our lecturers come in, instead of expecting our lecturers to spoon feed us.

Living and studying here had really been a great experience for me, beside studying, i know a bunch of good friends, group mates, room mates and block mates. I also learn how to deal with problems, stress, loneliness, depression (of course with God's help). I also learn to look at things or situation with a different perspective.

It's definitely not easy to leave home and come to a strange land, it really takes lots o courage. For those who are like me being so far away will understand how much it takes to go through all these for 6 years or more. (Dealing with home sick, missing food back home, dealing with different types of people in group and even the room or block really do gives us a different kind of experience) and i believe that once we can go through all this with the right attitude and character, we are made ready for the future awaiting for us.

A MUST WATCH SERIES: FORENSIC HEROES 2

2008-06-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

For those who had watch forensic heroes 1, TVB is back with forensic heroes 2, currently it's till episode 13 out of 30 episodes.

Why do i say it's a must watch series? well besides of the handsome actors and beautiful actresses, this series is also about finding truth through evidence from the dead body and the surroundings. Even though I'm not a pro in this field, but i can say that there's much to learn about forensic. For those who like CSI i think this series will be of interest to you. Well for a series lover like me, if i say a series is good, it's good.

UNCERTAINTIES

2008-06-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

Today i just finish my 2nd paper: therapy final. And once again Thank God and Praise God for what i get, He always give me more than i expected. This whole week was a tough week as many exams cramp together and i think one thing i lean most is to trust God even though i feel like giving up and lose hope.

Don't know why many uncertainties fill me mind, as I'm about to finish my 5th year, i realized that i have only one more year before i graduate and become a medical intern and then doctor. In a year time I'll really be dealing with life and death. One thing I'm really unsure of is that will i be a good doctor (good in knowledge, practical and attitude). To me, this is like no other job where it deals with non living things, what doctors are dealing is life and death, one can make a mistake and there goes the patient's life, and this is no joke. (it' scary).

No doubt i have deep passion and love for medicine, the more i study the more i like what i study, it's amazing on how human is so different from one another and why are there so many disease, the different way of diagnosing it and treating it etc, it's all so challenging and interesting. But working life is different, u have to put what u learn into real practice, what we're doing affects people's life physically and mentally and there's no room to play a fool.

But no one really seems to understand. Many thinks that i'm smart so i definitely can handle, but i don understand why everybody thinks that i know everything, it really stresses me out. i'm also someone who is learning, i don have all the answers and cure, i'm also human to worry and be anxious (even though i know that God is with me ), so hai...... ( i don even know why i'm saying this).

But one thing i know is that i really need strength and courage to deal with all these uncertainties. But looking at the future, can i see myself as a good doctor, i really don know???

BEFORE PSYCHIATRY FINAL

2008-05-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

Me and my psychiatry class notes (tired of studying)

Well I'm currently preparing for my psychiatry final 2molo, it's really a challenge for me. Since young or i could say the reason why i came to study medicine is because i wanna be psychiatrist and i had waited to study this subject for like so long and finally i got to learn about psychiatric disorder and see different patients with mental illness.

Well no doubt this subject is really interesting but it's really tough as it has many different terms and it mainly deals with psychic disorder (sensation disorder, perception disorder, thought disorder, obsessions and compulsion disorder, will and behavior disorder, motor disorder, intellect disorder, memory disorder and other associate diseases).

The more i read or study the more i think or feel that all of us are really prone to develop any of these disorder (neuroses or psychoses). It's just that whether are we able to adapt to it or not, if not it'll be known as DIS ADAPTATION (where detachment from reality and society occur and thus we see so call people who are weird or different). There is so much to this subject that i do not know where to start, but if anyone who read this has any question on any psychiatry problem feel free to ask me ( hehe...)

Well i think i have done my best to prepare for 2molo exams. i have faith that i won't fail 2molo but i really wanna score well and get a 5 for this subject as i really like this subject, so I'll just go in faith and put my trust in God that He'll bring me through as i had done my part to do my best. For with Him all things are possible. But anyway i will still give God all the glory for whatever result i get 2molo.

MEMORIALS OF MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER

2008-05-23T05:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a sad day, when i was in lecture this morning, i suddenly receive a sms from my mum saying that my Great grandmother has pass away, i was shocked and sad when i heard the news, my tears just came out unknowingly but i try to calm myself down and wiped off my tears as i was in the lecture hall.

Throughout the day, i was feeling sad and guilty not able to be back there to see her last face and all the memories of her just came flashing into my mind (how she took care of me when i was young; how she ask me to eat or bath but i was not able to understand fuk chow and she'll be like saying i used to be able to speak fuk chow well but now why i was not able; how i try to learn some 'fuk chow' to try to converse with her etc).

My great grandmother pass away due to an acute heart attack, and to look closely at my mother's side family medical history most of them like my grandparents and mother either have cardiovascular disease or high risk of it. And i really want to be a good doctor to be able to sort of like help them prolong life span with medicine (silly isn't it), but this was the 1st time i experienced death of someone close to me and that feeling is really ....... but somehow i believe that God will bring be through esp now exam time (need to concentrate)

All i could say that life is really short and i really think we should learn to treasure people around us, be it our families or friends. Don't ever think that it's still early or there's still time as we never know what will happen to us. So treasure everyday of our life and the people around us the way God wants us to love and care and live life to the fullest.

STRESS OUT

2008-05-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

This month is such a tough month, not only do i have Paediatrics and psychiatry cycle, i also have a practical final and MCQ finals for paediatric on (20th and 26th May) and also psychiatry final on the 30th May, then on 2nd June i have therapy final, 6th June paediatrics oral final, 11th June Infectious disease final and 16th June surgery final.

All these subjects need to study thick textbooks, lecture notes, class notes and find extra info from internet. I really need strength and wisdom from God to go through this. But definitely i have to put in extra effort and concentration as these exams are gonna be hard, tough and nerve racking
and one thing for sure, i do not want to be the kind of person who just study to pass exam but i look for more, i study hard so that i can be a good doctor (not just with the knowledge but with a teachable heart).

Happy Mother's day

2008-05-11T04:54:00.000-07:00

When i was young i always think that my mother loved my brother more, as she was very strict on me and she makes me do more house chores than my brother.

But then later as I grow up, when i'm in secondary school, I started to realize that she does care for me in her own mother to daughter way. I remember she makes sure we have enough money to buy our own lunch, always bear with me even when i talk back at her (as you know teenagers are rebellious), forgives me when i break her heart, buy things that i like even though after much nagging, encourage me to study medicine when i doubt that medicine will be too hard.

Then when i decided to come over to Moscow to pursue my medical studies, i realized she worries so much for me, and make sure i have the warmest jacket, blanket etc, and when we 1st parted at the airport about 5 years ago, i saw tears in her eyes that makes me cry, and from then on, I'm confirmed that my mum love me just as much as he loves my brother (she does not tell it out, but she shows it in our everyday conversation and during the yearly 2months time we spend together).

Well i just wanna thank God for blessing me with such a great mum, just wanna wish my mum HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY and that i really treasure and appreciate what you did for me. Thank You

THOUGHT DISORDER

2008-05-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

This month I'm having paediatrics in the morning and psychiatry in the afternoon from Monday to Friday. It's a hectic and busy cycle as both these 2 subjects are difficult but they are definitely really interesting and challenging.

Today in psychiatry class we learned about thought disorder. How normally people think about certain things and also the thought of PSYCHOPATHIC PATIENT and the thought of GENIUS are actually quite similar. We also learned about many new psychiatry medical terms and there was one which is very interesting:
The disease that this particular patient has is known as paralogia (illogical thinking) combine with Symbol thinking. Paralogic thinking actually means thought that contains erroneous or strange extreme substances, whereas symbol thinking are thoughts based on great deal of symbol giving them special meaning.

Back to the patient: the patient is a male patient who thinks that he is god, creator of all life, and he thinks that his twin sister who is female (due to her as an opposite sex) is the devil as devil brings death (opposite of life is death). So the patient has this thought that he has to protect the world and by doing so he has to kill his sister (death) so that his 'sister' will not be able to bring death to the world. But then one night when he was about to kill his sister he suddenly asked himself this question:

"How unbearable the dead body will be when it's dead" and then he gave up the idea to kill his sister.

Do you find it weird? well Of course it's weird, people who is in their right mind will not think about whether will a dead body feel unbearable after it die.

Wow, when i heard that, i find it so 'geli'. I was like thinking to have these kind of thought disorder it's actually very scary and torturing, sometimes i really feel that people with mental illness are actually quite 'kasihan' as they are not able to control their illness and their thought. and i really do admired the courage of psychiatrist who are willing to make this decision to help and improve the condition of these patients.

Finally EXECISE

2008-05-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

2 days ago, on the 1st of May (labour day), my hotspot friends (MF) and I (about 13 of us) went to the park nearby our hostel for picnic and outing. We played captain ball, volleyball, ayam dan helang, ice and water aka kejar kejar (ya kinda childish, play just for fun), ate, drank, took lots of silly photos etc. well i enjoyed a lot and it's like a stress relieving activity before my next cycle and coming finals, and right after that day, my whole body is aching as i had not been exercising for the past almost one year due to the weather, busyness, and not to mention laziness. (that's me, lazy will always be my last excuse hehe). Bollywood picture (hiding behind the trees)

Aren't we gorgeous and funny

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

2008-04-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

Today my class was suppose to have a very tough surgery zachut test (zachut means end of cycle pass to take the final exam). i had been like studying for the past few days but am still nervous for the exam as there are so many topics to study and prepare.

And this morning when i woke up, i really did prayed for a miracle and this miracle happened as my professor was sick and could not make it, so he asked his colleague to give us free zachut. Thank God. But of course still have to prepare well for my finals too as it'll definitely be tough. Over this one whole month of surgery cycle, it's really tiring but i did realized that i learned so much.

Even though i won be considering this as my future field, but to be honest it's actually something interesting and fun. What I've been learning is general surgery, but i really hope that i can see or learn about plastic surgery as it's fun (sort of, i mean it's interesting).And these days, in ophthalmology there is this new laser surgery to correct common eye disorders such as myopia, hyperopia and astigmatism. Well i was actually thinking of going for this surgery to correct my astigmatism but somehow i still have the fear of being operated even though I'm a doctor to be, well have to wait till i get over that fear.There are also facial surgery, to remove tumors etc.For example the pic below shows a girl suffers from a Schwannoma tumor which has been growing on her face since she was 3-years old.The tumor has grown to the point where she is no longer able to eat or speak.It has even kept her from going to school.The surgery is needed to allow her to speak and eat once again.
Well there are just so many interesting surgical procedures worldwide, but somehow there's this controversy where many people are not willing to undergo surgery as they have this perception of fear of dying on the operation theater.

And i really do not deny the fact that all operations or surgical procedures have their own risk but i believe if you are in the hands of a good and experience doctor, then there should not be any problem. But i also will not deny the fact that there are also alternative medicine beside surgery which the patient may feel more comfortable with. But i also think it's up to individuals decision whether do they wanna undergo the operation if they have to.

So we as doctors or future doctors should always be sensitive to our patient's condition and choose the best option for them and not settle every problem with surgery.

some lame jokes on surgery:

WHY CAN'T WE FORGIVE

2008-04-29T00:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a friend of mine was being 'tembak kau kau' for the thing she wrote in her blog about M night, almost everyone was against her wanted her out of the university.

well i could not deny that the way and what she wrote was harsh and insensitive and to many people 'racism'.

but one thing i would like to ask is which of us has never say things that hurt others. make mistake, gossip about other nation, race, religion, or people? All of us 'screw up' and make mistakes but what matter most is that whether after u make that mistake, are we willing to 'take responsibility courageously' to seek and ask for forgiveness openly. (and i'm sure many of us has problems or too proud to admit or take responsibility, because i sometimes are like that too)

But this friend of mine has actually posted an apology post on her blog, and that's so courageous of her. So i really hope that those who was offended by that post will be kind, willing and forgiving enough to forgive her and do not cause any more trouble to her.

The reason i said all these is not because she's my friend (if u think I'm like because u're my friend what u do is always right) as i do not approve of what she had done (her 1st post), but because i admire and was awe by her courage to take responsibility.

We do not have the right to condemn a person, as we ourself are not at all perfect, unless u think that u have done no wrong, then i have nothing to say.

Castle adventure (personality Test)

2008-04-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

I do not understand why i like personality test so much, maybe it's because i may wanna be a psychiatrist in a future, so i like test that analysis people's personality. Any way, came across this test and it seems fun. well do u DARE to take this test .

Answer what comes naturally to you and take time to really imagine yourself in the situation. Otherwise, it's not so fun... also you don't need to think in a survivalist mode.

1. Imagine yourself on board a boat that is sinking. You manage to swim to a life boat and climb in. How many people do you see in the life boat with you?

2. You row to the shore and see a vast desert before you. You collect some belongings and supplies, and head out across the desert in search of salvation. How many pairs of shoes do you use?

3. After much hard travel, you climb a rise of dunes and see a city in the distance. You also notice an oasis not too far away. Do you stop and rest at the oasis for as long as you want, only rest there for a minute, or keep heading towards the city?

4. Upon entering the city, you see a castle that intrigues you and decide to go to it. After passing the gates you find yourself walking down the length of a long corridor leading to the throne room. You enter and see a king and a queen sitting side by side on the throne. What do both the king and the queen look like? What characteristics do they seem to embody?

5. You leave and go down a spiral stairway. It's dark and shadowy, with torches lit intermittently along the walls. As you're walking down a lady (if you are a man) or a knight (if you are woman) from the court passes you by. You only catch a glimpse of their face, and they remind you of someone you know. Who did you see?

6. The stairs lead you to a banquet room and you see this long table with a golden goblet in the middle of the table. Looking inside the goblet, how full of wine is it?

Don scroll down until you have finish answering

Analysis

1. How many true friends you perceive you have.

2. How many true loves you'll have before getting married.

3. Your personal work ethic.

4. What you imagine your ideal mate to be like.

5. This is the person you'll never get over for the rest of your life.

6. How full it is represents how much of yourself you give in a relationship.

YE!!! 5 DAYS OF HOLIDAYS AND REST

2008-04-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

Due to Hitler's birthday (in Moscow or all over Russia, it's consider dangerous for foreigners to go out), we'll have about 5 days of holiday from tomorrow onward till next Tuesday. I'll really need this holiday to have a good rest as i was quite busy and stressful for the past 2 weeks, and also take this time to finish my surgery patient's case history and to do some revision. Life of a medical students is so stressful especially when the final exams are round the corner, but somehow i know that God will pull me through.

It's been a long day

2008-04-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a long day today, i had surgery class from 9am till 2pm and i can tell you that class is really stressing me out. But Thank God i manage to go through today's class. And later at 3.30 i have philosophy class untill about 5.30 and worse thing is the class is in russian and i really understand nothing, but Thank God also today was the last class, meaning i do not have to study this subject anymore for this semester, what a relieve......, but now I'm really tired but i don dare to sleep because I'm might have a sleepless night later (i usually sleep 6 to 8 hours a day, from 12 to 8, or 12 to 7 etc, and my friends all say i sleep like a baby)

TURNER SYNDROME

2008-04-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today in gynecology class we learned about amenorrhea and one of it's cause is turner syndrome. Turner syndrome is a congenital disease which is caused by a missing or incomplete X chromosome. People who have Turner syndrome develop as females. The genes affected are involved in growth and sexual development, which is why girls with the disorder are shorter than normal and have abnormal sexual characteristics.We also learn about turner mosaic. what does mosaicism mean here? mosaicism actually means that instead of chromosome changes, changes occur in the gene locus inside the chromosome causing female to have some small signs of a particular disease like turner syndrome but the condition is not as severe as turner syndrome (for example: patient outward appearance may look like they have turner syndrome like short stature or stocky appearance but their genital organs actually function normally and there's no mental retardation).

My lecturer then further says that there is a stipulation on all human being including you and I, we have mosaic of genetic hereditary diseases for example cancer, connective tissue disease, hypertension, it's just how much do we manifest it only by our lifestyle and environmental factors. so we need to live our life well and healthily to prevent the manifestation of these diseases.

A fruitful weekend

2008-04-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

The weekend that had passed was a meaningful weekend. Many things happened but yet i can see that God is in control of everything. We had the Love factor on Saturday and to me personally it was really meaningful and what i learn that night was Love factor is actually God factor, to understand what real love is, we have to know who God is and experience His love.

And on Sunday church service, Pastor John Ollis shared on finishing well in our walk with God. Many thinks that Christianity is just accepting Christ and that's it, but actually there's more to that we need to live our life as a living sacrifice for Him and always willing to be humble and surrender fully to Him. Pastor John also pointed out some of the ways to do so.

Then later in the evening we had a leadership meeting with pastor John on how to be a better man and woman for God, the criteria of priesthood that we as God's children should have as we're God's royal priesthood. Well thought out this whole weekend, even though i was so call busy and don't really have much time for my studies but somehow i find myself learning more and how to be the person God wants me to be. and to me this is definitely something i can never learn from my medical textbook.

And thank God when i went to class with His presence beside me, i can answer the question my professor asked me and thank God for that and all glories go to Him as He is the greatest physician in my life.

Abortion???

2008-04-10T08:37:00.001-07:00

This month I'm having gynecology and surgery cycle (rounds). My gynecology teacher is an intelligent, soft spoken and a humble person. He teaches and explains well in class and while seeing procedures. i remember on Tuesday he was asking us what kind of procedure are we interested in. then someone asked whether can we see abortion procedure (in Malaysia abortion is illegal unless there's some medical reason or whatsoever but here the law is different). Upon hearing this my teacher was kinda upset, he couldn't understand why are people so interested in abortions (as many other groups has requested to see abortion too).

is this what we wish to see, gross isn't it???

He then explained and told us that he believe that baby (pregnancy) is given by something from above to the mothers. We as doctors do not have the right to harm or destroy (abortion is done by breaking the life chorion or embryo into smaller pieces and then remove it by curettage) the embryo or fetus. Even though the embryo or fetus may not be well formed yet but it's still a living organism living in a mother's womb. He also thinks that seeing abortion is somewhat depressing and not good, it's better to see birth. This is how abortion is done. to me it's cruel and depressing

For me i believe that unless there are certain medical reason, we as doctors or even mother to the baby should never consider abortion as an option as it is a life given by God and we don have the right to take away one's life (no matter what selfish reason we may have). And from the medical point of view, abortion may also lead to other complication like infection or future infertility for those who later in life might want to have children.

Well talking about my teacher i really respect him not just as a doctor but also his morality as a doctor. i hope that one day if i were to be a specialist in obstetric and gynecology I'll be like him and of course not to forget the Great Physician of my life.

WANNA HAVE SOME FUN: CAKE PERSONALITY TEST

2008-04-07T05:47:00.000-07:00

Wanna have some fun or a laugh, i found this test somewhere and i find it kinda interesting. Hope you enjoy it:

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following which would you choose?

Angel food
Brownies
Lemon Meringue
Vanilla with Chocolate Icing
Strawberry Short Cake
Chocolate on Chocolate
Ice Cream
Carrot Cake

PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT THE ANALYSIS UNTIL YOU CHOOSE AN ANSWER!!!

Analysis

Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you!

Angel food - Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies - You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue - Smooth, sexy & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing - Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake - Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate - Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream - You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake - You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm-hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Love Factor

2008-04-06T10:16:00.001-07:00

This saturday at 6.30 in yunost hotel, there'll be a seminar or would i say conference by Pastor John Ollis from Hillsong Australia. He's gonna talk about the topic love. Many think that they know what love is all about. But to me Love is something easily say but not done and it really take God's strength for me to be able to show the kind of love He wants me to show.

I'm actually really looking forward to hear what Pastor John Ollis got to say as i know that what he say will not only be powerful but also life changing. He came last year to speak in the Malaysian Fellowship and also in church and i can say that He's a man of God, very wise,knowledgeable,and with authority but at the same time humble and friendly.

Thus as i say I'm looking forward to hear what God say through him about love, as i want to be a person who loves the way God want me to towards my family, my friends, my future patients and others.

Sprain or bone crack

2008-04-06T05:26:00.000-07:00

During one of my trauma class last week, we discuss about sprain. Then somehow a question came across my mind. here was the question:

If we're working in a rural hospital without Xray, or any other kind of modern technologies and equipment, and one day a patient came complaining that he had hurt his ankle. (not bleeding or wound, just bend or hit something etc). How then are we suppose to know whether is it a sprain or is it a crack in the bone (not displaced fractures, just crack) without the help of X ray.

There are answer like refer patient to a bigger hospital with X ray ( but what if the patient is not willing to go so far for some reason). well yes we can apply the RICE method and prescribe some pain killer.

R-rest
I- ice application
C- compression
E- elevation of affected part

but what i really want to know is that whether is there a way to differentiate a sprain and a bone crack just by general examination and palpation etc without using x ray or other modern techniques.

So feel free to comment on any ways to differentiate these 2 problems. thanks.

My Group mates

2008-04-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

The 2 men sitting in front are my teacher for trauma

Today as I went to class, I was thinking on what to write for the blog. And then I decided to write on my group. My group as small as it may seem consist of a bunch of interesting people with unique characters. Even though we’re from different nationality, races, sexes, religion we tend to get along pretty well in many ways.

As I mentioned we have various characters here in my group: ‘study’ freaks; ‘shopping’ freaks; ‘beauty’ freaks; ‘eating’ freaks (most of us can really eat and I mean really); ‘gossip’ freaks; ‘sarcastic’ freaks; ‘cute’ freaks (like me who always like to say so); ‘chill’ freaks etc practically u name it, u have it. But it’s just who we are and I can proudly proclaim that I love this group and I have never regretted to stay in this group even though in the beginning I had the chance to change to another group, I think my life will be pretty boring not being here.

Another amusing thing about my group is that everyday each of us takes turn to PMS or like what my group mates like to say takes the ‘bitch’ pill, but somehow we learn to bear and live with it and in a way we actually get to like each other for who we really are. No doubts we do have ‘cat fights’ and arguments but at the end of the day we apologize and don harbor hatred over it. That’s one thing I really like about them they are real (well maybe sometimes too real). And to my group mates I really love u guys.

POWER OF TOUCH OF A PHYSICIAN

2008-04-02T04:11:00.000-07:00

Touch is a very important element or criteria for a physician. Physician have to touch (general examination, palpation, percussion, auscultation) to know what is wrong with the patient and what kind of diagnosis we should put.

But sad to say we're now living in a 'low touch culture' where we (even many physicians, medical students) are so reluctant to touch. We're scared or anxious that we may be infected with that particular disease, or sickness if we touch the patient, we're scared to do enemas as it's so dirty. Well is this what doctors are suppose to do? just look at the patient from a far without even touching them and then give a diagnosis.

Well, no doubt we must be careful, we can wear gloves and mask ( to protect both doctors and patient), but that does not mean that we should avoid touching patient. Touch is very important as it brings comfort, security, love and care to the patient showing them that we as doctors do care and we're not being a doctor due to higher 'status' or pay.

One thing i learn most from my university is that the nurses and doctors here are not afraid to touch the patients, when we go visit some patient in their wards the doctor (my lecturers), while asking them about their medical history will sit beside them, touch them gently while examining and showing us stuff and at the same time will ask us to touch the patient to feel signs like splenomegamy, hepatomegaly, types of rashes, etc (doesn't matter whether what disease the patient has).

Another time is when i did my attachment back in Malaysia last year during my holidays in KLGH, i was assigned to the medical ward with a small compartment for the infectious disease patient. And there's this doctor in particular (medical consultant) whom i followed, he was not afraid to go in to this infectious compartment with TB patients and to touch them and examined them, and to tell the truth i really respected him and was touched by what he did.

Many times we as medical students are so reluctant to touch them but I'm learning the art of 'touch' as I realizes it's importance day by day. We as doctors or future doctors should realize that we need to touch our patient doesn't matter whether are they dirty or clean; their socioeconomic status, or whatever disease they may have even infectious diseases like TB, Hepatitis, meningococcal infection, skin diseases. We just have to put ourselves into their shoes, how would we feel if our attending physician is not willing to come near us to examine us when we're sickly lying in the hospital bed, it's definitely a depressed and alienated feeling. so would we want our patients to fell that way?

ENDURANCE

2008-04-02T02:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i went to the phone company in Moscow (MGTS) to inquire why can't we apply the internet line yet (we're suppose o able to apply the internet line 2 weeks ago), and the lady there says that they are not able to do so due to some reason which i not quite understand as they speak in difficult Russian (well even though I'm here for 5 years already, that does not mean i can understand everything they say, right?). well the only part i got was that we (those who are sharing this line) have to wait for another month to be able to apply this internet line. When i heard this i was like man....... this is bad as i really need to use the internet desperately (I've been living without it for the pass 2 months and it's so inconvenient especially for someone who is like staying away from home with tones of medical research and homework to do), especially this month of April as I'm having my surgery cycle which require me to hand up projects every class.

But somehow i recall my friend using this wireless internet service known as Golden Wifi, what i got to do is just to buy the internet card (500rub to use unlimitedly for a month), and make sure my computer can detect this wireless server. So on my way back to my hostel, i went to about 7 shops in 7 different locations and they all told me that they did not had any stock, i was like crying out God why is this happening to me? why must I go through this? Haven't i been praying enough? but somehow there's this voice inside me that told me not to give up, continue to have faith and trust in God, so with that small faith that i had, i went into my last choice, a shop in the market near my hostel and Thank God there it was the last internet card. Man...i was like in awe, in awe of how God works (even though u may think it's a small thing, but to me it speaks a lot).

Then the 1st thing i do when i was able to log on to the internet was to listen to this sermon on endurance by pastor Tan Ye Peng from CHC. it's was like a reminder on what God has brought me through and an encouragement also on not giving up in whatever circumstances that we may be in.

2cor6:4 In everything that we do we try to show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind.

E- Embrace God's purpose in that situation.
N- nurture our roots in God's word
D- Direct our attention to Jesus Christ
U- Use our experience to help others
R- Rely on God's power
E- Expect God to bless us and to give us a breakthrough

God did not save people to enter the race, but to finish the race well.

1ST TIME BLOGGING

2008-04-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

Well before this I've heard many things about blogs. People or friends write about themselves, what they had been through or reading other's blogs finding it interesting, amusing or irritated by what was written in it. Now i finally have the chance to experience this feeling. i hope I'll have a fun time doing so and at the same time i wish that what i write here will be a blessing or encouragement to others who read this.