Tuesday, 16 September 2008

CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER



As i am having holiday these few days, i was listening to a series of audio sermon Choosing the right partner by Pastor Kong Hee. He was a dynamic speaker and some of his points on not choosing the wrong partner in life really struck me, so i decided to post it:




God does not choose our mate for us, He may have certain people in His mind for us, but ultimately we are the one who make the decision and choose the partner.

A) 8 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP THAT WON'T WORK
  1. You care more about your partner more than he does about you for a very long period of time. (meaning u keep on call him, message him etc but he does not really care to reply u, so that mean one thing he is defnitely not interested in you).
  2. You are in love with your partner's potential (You only love him for who you dream he may become in the future and not who he is right now).
  3. You are in a rescue mission. (Where u always feel that he or she can't live without me, soon enough u'll too tired of being a babysitter).
  4. You look up to your partner as a role model (in a way that he or she is the god of your life and where u'll find yourself loosing your identity).
  5. You are in love with your partner only for the external reason.
  6. You and your partner are really trench or team buddy (short term love spark where u have over a short period of time working together).
  7. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
  8. Your partner is unavailable (where he or she is in another relationship or worse married)
B) 8 FATAL FLAWS TO WATCH OUT IN A PARTNER
  1. Anger (where he or she just burst on you for no reason or for small reasons)
  2. Control freak (i don think you need much of explanation)
  3. victim consciousness (where they can blame everybody except themselves for everything bad that is happening in their life).
  4. Sexual immorality ( It can either be sexual addiction or lack of sexual integrity).
  5. Your partner has not grow up (and you feel like you're going out with a kid than with your partner). (THAT'S AWFUL!!!)
  6. Emotional unavailable (where your partner is cold towards you and cannot share his or her feeling with you like a cold icy wall)
  7. Those that have not recover from past relationship. (and this really hurts)
  8. Emotionally damage from childhood (and that causes them either do not know how to love you or being obsess with being love by you).
C) 5 TIME BOMBS THAT MAY DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP
  1. Significant age difference where like more than 10 years (man!!! this can easily cause generation gap).
  2. Different spiritual conviction (when you are either not of the same faith or u guys just don have things between to click with each other).
  3. Different social ethnic and social background (well it can only work out if both partner are really committed to work the relationship out and of course with God's help).
  4. Overbearing In-laws.
  5. Long distance relationship (especially if there is no trust and commitment).
D) 7 QUALITIES ONE SHOULD LOOK FOR IN A LIFE PARTNER
  1. Commitment to personal growth (spiritually and mentally)
  2. Emotional openness.
  3. Integrity
  4. Maturity and responsibility
  5. Healthy self esteem
  6. Positive attitude towards life
  7. personal chemistry (you can find all the above 6 in a person, but it's useless if there's no chemistry there).
Well this may seem kinda complicated but it's actually really real in our life (doesn't matter whether you are single, you're attached or married, it'll still be able to help you to built better relationship with your partner).

Personal note: loving someone or finding the right one and building up the relationship is really not easy, It really takes trust, commitment, patience, and most importantly God's love to make it work.

2 comments:

h0cmun said...

so have you found your partner?
hehe. nice one though

Philip Lee said...

Almost like searching for the perfect partner,God willing, its possible. Of course, many said we should be the perfect partner first as we look for these same characteristics in others. i.e. not judge others but our own log in our eyes.

But, finally no one is perfect and if we do find that perfect partner...he/she could be an angel...

We all need to put efforts to love in this world of sin. Much more efforts after marriage. All is by God's grace, lest we boast.

http://daddyparentingtips.blogspot.com/